Dragon Ball & Me =)

I know this sounds funny but I have just finish watching 3 seasons of my childhood favourite cartoon, Dragon Ball. The story mainly revolves around a few main characters like Gouku (Sun Wu Kong), Vegeta (Dar er), (he is one of my favourite character as I feel I resemble him alot. Aggressive etc. ) and the rest of their friends and family members fight to protect the human race and the Earth. In times of danger and urgency, they need to gather all the 7 dragon balls, which has star(s) inside the orange dragon ball and the number of stars inside will represent the ball number etc. For the first ball will have only one star and the 3rd ball will have 3 inside it. Upon collection of the 7 dragon balls they would be able to summon the Shenrong (Shen long), the dragon and allow them to make a wish upon it for it to be fufilled, most of the time to revive the dead or for stronger power (for the bad guys if the bad guys got the 7 dragon balls). Each time the Shenrong appeared and granted a wish, the dragon balls will be disperse into different parts of the Earth or universe towards the end seasons before they can be gathered together again for the same purpose.

So yea! at the age of 24 i finally get to finish watching it!

In my younger days I would spend loads of money just to buy Dragon Ball cards and collect them, each time hoping to get a gold card (appear as shiny cards, some of which are pealable, just like a sticker). Worst I actually did a silly thing. I threw the cards away!! -_- stupid stupid stupid me!!!! I was to be blamed. What to do I was still a kid and naive in thinking. I went to attend church service while I was a kid. During the 'classes' the 'preacher' would advocate that all things other than god are evil. Even cartoon characters like carebears etc are evil. why? coz they gather in circles and that's a symbol of satanism. I am not sure how true is that but I believed nevertheless. Gouku could kamehameha power so that is not good too? I thought... after some consideration, I discarded some of my dragon balls and WHAM! there goes my favourite collections and all the money invested. Good game haha... anyway it was just a childhood thing :)

Anyway while I was a kid, during my primary school days, I would go to the comic shop beside my mum's mix vegetable rice shop at Upper Serangoon shopping centre to browse through the dragon ball comics although I never completely follow the episodes. I just read one episode here and one episode there and I will still like the story ha. On an occassional basis, the comic shop uncle would play dragon ball videos and sometimes my brother (jianming) and I would just stand there to catch a glimpse of our favourite manga, anime idol until the uncle stop the video, leaving us grumbling to ourselves.

So what about Gouku? Well he is a Super Saiyan who never gives up protecting his love ones and the Earth in particular, which is always attacked by valiants who seek to destroy it or just with the aim of destroying every saiyan alive for the purpose of revenge. Even in the most impossible of senario to win, he would just stand on and even make stupid jokes as though the situation isnt serious enough ha. He is super optimistic! But like I said Dar er resembles me the most and I think he is the coolest even though he is never able to match up to Gouku in terms of strength and power. He is competitive (towards Gouku) as he always think that being the Prince of the Saiyan he should be the most powerful being in the universe, which he eventually realise he is not but accepts it. Through seeing Gouku fighting and winning battles he realised that he is never able to reach Gouku's level. So what's so cool about him? It's his stern and always serious character ha. And well even though he is not as powerful as Gou ku, he is still very powerful. He is the Prince of Saiyan afterall =]. In the end of the Dragon ball episodes the highest level they reached was Super Saiyan 4 (Chao ji sai ya ren 4) way cool!!

I am just very happy that I get to finish watching My Favourite Childhood animation la. =D

Me.
In retrospection, I am not really that positive like I was before. In fact I am feeling negative more these days. Anger, listless, moody, upset and maybe even hatred, regret and remorse. It's kinda sad sometimes when I look at myself. I will ask, why am I like that and why do I have to go through such a tough journey, from while since I was young? It tough sometimes although I know I need to hang on and hopefully get out of life more positive and successful. In life, I know that we need people to be around us in order to survive well and live with contentment. But unfortunately, I cant. I dunno how to live with people, treat or to relate to them, work with them! and it's making my waking in moments in life painful sometimes. That's not what I want! I would like to have friends too? I would like to be appreciated and loved just like anyone else. What do I do? Blame my unloving parents who were not able to show love and care for me? Blame the people who once harmed me? Blame the people who said the wrong things at the wrong time and taught me the wrong things? Blame them for condeming me while I was young? Blame god? Blame myself? Yes, they are to be blamed. No doubt about that. They are the cause of my development, who I am today, confident anot etc. Secure or insecure within myself and thus, with or without the abiliy to face society and people outside of my home or family.

But what can I do? It's just that I feel things could be better. Not like that. Not like what it is now. I just hate that I have to go through all these, most of the time by myself. It's not easy.

Forgive me if I wasnt the best I can be for you like I wanted. I promise I will get myself out of this shit and be the best for myself and everyone, bringing success and happiness to all that has or will cross my path, just like Gouku.