competitionless

as far as i know, i have been a competitive person since young.. now that i have grown up i have learnt to make it into something healthy. if things have to be competitive, it will be healthy competition, not something that is made into a life and death, heart and soul, head losing ordeal no more. ha... as i recall, that is how hard i look at things... everything serious, especially when it comes to competition.. 'Never say die' and 'Must win' has been my faithful mottos i bring with me for many years of my life... =p
i learnt things the hard way i guess. it didnt take long for me to find out that those hard core mottos i held tightly onto myself were actually, occassionally straining relationships with some of my peers. it;s only from then on that well i learnt to control :)

so there was this kickboxing competition i was involved in, or rather almost involved in ha.... it was postponed from feb to march, march to april and now? CANCELLED lol.... wonderful lite?? i tot i could soon fufil moi dream of Fighting in a competition and Perhaps winning one.... now my hopes has been dashed yet again... to be honest i was almost quite confident in my debut.. i guess i'd just have to be a little more patient.... just like a patient haha.... so after the long break of being competitionless i once again have to rejoin that 'compaany' again....

the competitionless company....... hello~

my life updated

come to think about it that karen is really becoming more like me haha... so mean nowadays haz.... meano2. life still move on as ever though i continue have the fetish to blow her blain up... it's not my fault, she just need that extra doze of craziness in her life which she obviously think she doesnt need? lol... anyway she was my ex....

after the experience, i kinda realise that hey maybe this is how life works... sometimes there's just no chance for redemption! especially when your habit is something which the other person dread the most? lol... especially when you said sorry countless number of times and yet repeating the same things over and over again~! can we call this a 'meant to be thing'?

why is it that in some ways i cant get my mind off this person ne? i guess it's becoz of the times we have had that i still remember that allowed me to linger on? well maybe then that way i wont view myself as a heartless person ba? memories treasure. locked. i dunno why i am typing these but ya.. these are just things on my mind and this is what a blog is for isnt it haha....

recently i read this book by the title of 'Unlimited Power' by Anthony Robbins. it mentioned something about Giving. it mentioned that sometimes while in a relationship with a friend or spouse, it is important that we give more than what you think you can get back in return. if a couple dun think that way but instead do; "i just gave, now it's his turn". when you start taking account, it's assured that the relationship wont last for too long. so after reading it and doing a little reflection, i tot, "yea..". what i had been doing in the past was mostly demands after demands... now that things have turned our sour, i can only not repeat the same 'mistake' i made... give give give..